A small holiday gift: A 350 word flash fiction piece I entered into the Weird Christmas contest this year. Check out the winners at the Weird Christmas site! It’s a fun place to visit.
I hate teeth. I spend my days picking gunk from between the crevices in people’s gaping mouths. No wonder I spend most nights dreaming of a well-muscled hero to carry me away, this time of year in a sleigh filled with my wished-for presents. Since heroes aren’t bothered by dental issues, my chances are slim.
When my dentist boss and I entered the health clinic downtown on the first Tuesday in December, I expected little more than the normal smiles of gratitude from the homeless patients who came for the free dental treatment.
The barebones clinic had little room for holiday décor. A dusty, fake Christmas tree was crammed in one corner, and a small table opposite held some battered Kwaanza candles. Beside the candles a shabby toy sleigh pulled by tiny prancing reindeer held fruit and wrapped sandwiches.
More than a dozen teeth cleanings and exams left my back weary and my eyes bleary. When my next customer lowered himself into the chair, it creaked in protest. Beneath full cheeks, he wore a long, full, pure white beard and mustache. Great. It isn’t easy to avoid getting a few pieces of gunk on people’s skin, but a full beard is a nightmare to clean. Patients aren’t thrilled when they look in the mirror and discover a spattered beard. His beard looked clean and well-groomed, so maybe he carried a comb.
He smiled. What must have been a gold crown somewhere in the depths of his mouth sparkled. He winked. I muttered to myself, “I’d rather polish a reindeer’s toenails than clean one more mouth.”
He chuckled and I swore I heard a low, “Ho, ho, ho.”
Then my patient transformed into a not-so-tiny reindeer with sparkling eyes and huge hooves. At his feet was a jar of Twinkle Toes Hoof Polish, the kind with glitter.
A totally different kind of stud than I’d dreamed of, but I’d take him any day. I picked up a hoof and began polishing.
© Kathy McIntosh 2019
